You probably don’t think that much about how your cell phone relates to your romantic relationship. After all, you’ve gotten used to the mobile phone being part of your daily life; it’s just another tool that you use so often it’s practically invisible to you. But that tool just might be a ticking time bomb ready to blow up your relationship from the inside out. Every day, partnerships are ruined as a result of something that has occurred in relation to the cell phone.
Let’s take a look at the top ten ways the mobile phones ruin marriages and other long term relationships:
1. Tattles on you about your affair.
There’s no denying that there’s an underlying problem in the relationship if you’re having an affair. Maybe you just aren’t ready to settle down into a committed relationship. Or perhaps you’re unsatisfied in the current situation. But whatever the reason, you’re obviously keeping the affair secret because you still want to try to work things out with your partner. Your mobile phone is the number one threat to mending that relationship because it’s got so many different ways to tattle on you about the affair. Text messages, secretive phone calls, suspicious numbers popping up on shared phone bills … these are all warning signs to your significant other that something significant has been going on with someone else. (And it’s no fun being on the flip side either, when a phone is giving you clear signs that your partner is cheating and you have to decide whether or not to bury your head in the sand.) If you’re the guilty party, you might want to check out our guide to not getting caught in the act by your phone.
2. Causes financial stress.
We all know that the two things that couples argue about most are sex and money. If you’re not having an affair, the next biggest reason that your phone is going to ruin your relationship is because of problems with the billing. If you have a shared phone plan with your significant other or you guys have shared finances in general, there are a lot of small financial details to work out regarding the phone. How many minutes to pay for, who went over their minutes, why one of you wants a new phone … mobile phones have the potential to be expensive and that can wreak a lot of havoc on an otherwise harmonious relationship.
3. Reveals that you aren’t so cool.
Were you the last one in your social group to get a camera phone? Do your ring tones reveal your passion for bad music from the eighties? Are you incapable of doing anything more than simple calling and texting from your mobile phone? If you worked hard to appear suave and sophisticated in the beginning stages of a new relationship, you could be dealt a crushing blow when your phone habits reveal that you’re not so cool after all.
4. Highlights the differences between you and your significant other.
She’s a high-powered attorney with a Wi-Fi-enabled cell phone that can do everything short of repairing the leak in the kitchen sink. Her phone is sleek, sexy and tells the world that she’s not afraid to walk all over it. You’re a work-at-home graphic designer who got the free phone from your calling plan and tweaked it with your own tech skills; its wackiness perfectly compliments your lowkey wardrobe and laidback attitude. The phones themselves may be just a symbol of the differences between you and your partner but they can start to open that chasm between your worlds and will continue to draw attention to its growth over time.
5. You start texting and stop talking.
In theory, phones are a tool for communication. However, many of us use them as a substitute for the real heart-to-heart talks that we need to be having. It’s a lot easier to avoid problems in a relationship when the bulk of your conversations take place in the form of “did u p/u dnr?” and “running l8, c u 2nite”. Texting can be one way to stay in touch throughout a busy day but it can also serve to replace real communication with a false sense of connection. Eventually, you’re going to realize that you just don’t talk anymore even though you’re always in touch.
6. Launches the ongoing “you aren’t paying attention to me” conversation.
Sure, you think that there’s no reason that you can’t listen to her ten-minute long explanation of her latest shoe-buying transaction while you erase text messages or play games on your phone. But as soon as she gets the impression that you’d rather be playing Snake than attending to the details of the conversation at hand, she’s going to start in on the “you’re not paying attention” accusation. You should already know from experience that there is no winning that argument and your use of the phone will become a constant cause for battle.
7. You prefer the phone to your partner.
Perhaps that concern that she has about you not paying attention isn’t all in her head. There’s a good chance that you might actually prefer hanging out with your phone to hanging out with your partner. We recently had a post here entitled “10 Ways a Mobile Phone is Better than a Lover“. It gets you thinking that perhaps you don’t really want to be in this relationship at all when your phone can satisfy almost all of your basic needs.
8. Sending out hidden signals.
Think that the only signals your phone sends out are directed towards your phone company? Think again. The way that you use your phone can send out a whole hidden world of signals that your partner is going to try to decode. You didn’t answer the phone when she called even though she knows that you were just hanging out at home; does that mean that you’re getting bored with talking to her? She didn’t understand the last text message that you sent; was it supposed to go to someone else and who is she and are you with her right now? Every single thing that you do on your phone without a second thought could be cause for a break-up blowout.
9. The little annoyances.
You know when things start going south in a relationship and every single little thing that the other person does drives you crazy? She grinds her teeth. He leaves the soap on the shower floor. Well, your mobile phone is no exception; it can drive your partner batty with minor annoyances (and hers can do the same to you). You may cringe every time that her stupid text message ring tone goes off. You may want to start spending nights back at your own place since the sound of her phone alarm in the morning is enough to send you packing. Or perhaps the problem is her perky tone of voice on the voice mail that you always have to listen to because she never picks up even though she knows it’s you calling. These little annoyances can add up on both sides of the relationship and may cause you to want to either kill the phone or leave the relationship.
10. You suffer from technology addiction.
Experts say that there is such a thing as “technology overload” and that it has the potential to ruin all of your personal relationships. Just like any other addiction, an addiction to your phone can cause loved ones to worry about you and to need to separate themselves from you and your problem. Does a cell phone addiction sound absurd to you? Try going without your mobile phone for just one week and then let us know what you think about the realities of addiction. The first step is admitting that you have a problem.
Your mobile phone has the potential to damage your relationship whether that’s in one fell swoop when it reveals your affair or through a long process of erosion related to your tech addiction. These ten problems are the things to look for if you want to keep your relationship going strong (or the ten areas to start highlighting if you’re looking to get out of a bad connection!)
Make your phone work for your relationship instead of against it by reviewing our guide to seducing a woman with your mobile phone.