We’ve always known Japan has the most advanced mobile phones, but now their networks want to use them to transport the entire country back in time – to when people still thought mp3-limiting DRM would work.  Worse, they want to tear the entire nation into a parallel world where the only kind of music is that bought from them.

The Financial Times reports on a scheme to make every single cellphone in the country check with a central server before sounding a single note, and if you can spot an amazing number of fatal flaws in that, well done on not working for the Recording Industry Association of Japan.  The RIAJ is obviously of the opinion that every single music listener is a filthy thief.  Which you might recognise as “The approach even Apple couldn’t make work, and they build every step involved and people generally like them.”

Their proposed miracle system would have to incorporate every single service provider and online music purchase site, and utterly discounts the idea that music could come from anywhere else.  Like legally purchased CDs.  Or small artists who distribute their songs for free online.  Basically, if you’re not giving the RIAJ money you’re not allowed to listen to it – and they’re sure you won’t mind the crippling of one of the modern phone’s most basic functions, as it queues up behind millions of other people accessing a single central service once every three minutes.

Japan’s teens are notoriously gadget hungry and trend conscious – if you really want to make one of those trends “Hating your entire industry”, crippling something that already works just fine would be the way to go.