Welcome to the second, annual Dial-a-Phone awards!  It’s here where we honour this year’s mobile winners and losers who have hogged the headlines, spread the gossip or just bombarded us with so many new products, we couldn’t ignore them.  Don’t expect a Best Mobile or anything like that here, as these are slightly more alternative than that.  So, without further ado, let’s get started!

The ‘We’ll Release it When We’re Good and Ready’ Award for the Longest Gestation Period.

Nominees:  Microsoft for Windows Mobile 7, Sony Ericsson for the Xperia X2 and RIM for the BlackBerry Storm2.
The Winner:  Microsoft Windows Mobile 7!
Rumours concerning the Xperia X2 began at the beginning of the year, followed by the official announcement in September, and now the follow-up to last year’s winner of this category has been delayed until 2010.  The Storm2 also did a good job of missing its ideal release window of summer 2009, preferring to sink into obscurity during late autumn.  Windows Mobile 7?  It’s now late 2010 for the new Microsoft OS.

2009′s Word of the Year.

Nominees:  App, Smartphone and Snapdragon.
The Winner:  Our ‘Word of the Year 2009′ is…App!
2009 may have been the year of the smartphone, and the ultimate in cool for said phones is for them to be powered by a Qualcomm Snapdragon processor, but this matters not if your apps aren’t ready to go!

The ‘Needs Some Salt’ Award for the Most Tasteless Mobile Phone of 2009.

Nominees:  Samsung’s r450 Mister Cartoon Limited Edition, The Goldvish Revolution and the £1.92 million iPhone.
The Winner:  The Goldvish Revolution!
How could we not give this award to anything but the hideous Goldvish Revolution. It’s not just the £34,000 price tag – as the golden £1.92 million iPhone obviously beats it there – but a combination of the strange pill shape, the clusters of jewels complimented by what appears to be a black plastic case and the terrible design of the keypad. The Samsung r450, while still awful, has been totally outclassed.

Top New Mobile OS Announcement of 2009.

Nominees:  Samsung’s bada, Synaptics’ Fuse and ELSE Intuition.
The Winner:  Synaptics Fuse.
This is a tough one, but not for the reasons you would think.  Samsung’s bada simply cannot win because, in English at least, its name doesn’t mean anything and sounds like it describes the Windows 95 shut down tone, plus the lowercase ‘b’ at the start does not make it ‘funky’, no matter what Samsung think.  The First ELSE’s ELSE Intuition UI is the clear winner obviously, but because its name is so ridiculous and ELSE say ‘it’s not a phone, it’s a connected portable device’, and other such marketing nonsense, we cannot bring ourselves to name it so.  Leaving Synaptics Fuse, which although appears to be stupidly complicated with buttons here, there and everywhere, has the best name; ergo, it wins.

Mobile Film/TV Star of 2009.

Nominees:  The Apple iPhone for Top Gear, Future Nokia Carphone in Star Trek and the BlackBerry in Funny People.
The Winner:  The Apple iPhone in Top Gear!
The BlackBerry’s appearance in Funny People may have raised a giggle, and Star Trek’s futuristic Nokia in the decidedly non-futuristic 1965 Corvette was a groan-inducing piece of product placement, leaving Top Gear’s use of the iPhone and accompanying Decibel app to claim the award.

Comeback of 2009.

Nominees:  Palm, Motorola and the 12-month contract.
The Winner:  Motorola!
Palm’s snail-like speed to release the Pre in the UK hurt them here, and while the 12-month contract has never really gone away, Tesco’s introduction of a 12-month iPhone plan should see other networks push the option a little harder next year.  But this time last year, if you would have bet Motorola would have two desirable phones on the market within 12 months, you would have been laughed out of Ladbrokes.

Best Mobile Phone TV Advert of the Year.

Nominees:  Motorola Droid Stealth, T-Mobile Dance and Sony Ericsson’s MH907 Promo.
The Winner:  T-Mobile Dance!
The promotional video for Sony Ericsson’s motion activated MH907 headphones was as clever as it was terrifying and the Droid Stealth’s Transformers meets the X-Files feel saw it nearly take the win, however, very few adverts – for mobile phones or not – make us smile as much as the T-Mobile Dance, even nearly a year after we first saw it.

The Rumour That Won’t Die Award.

Nominees:  Microsoft Pink, PSP Phone and the Nexus One a.k.a. The Google Phone.
The Winner:  Microsoft Pink!
Despite the Google Phone being rumoured since we first saw the Android OS, it really does look as if it will be confirmed soon, so it clearly cannot win.  The PSP Phone has been quiet of late even though it had a strong showing earlier in the year, but Microsoft’s Pink project has had more than its far share of well-respected tech analysts pondering over what it is, when it will be out and whether we really care or not, coupled with the fact we’ve never actually seen ‘it’, gives it a solid win in the vaporware category.

Renaming Ridiculousness 2009.

Nominees:  Motorola Milestone, Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 and the Sony Ericsson Satio.
The Winner:  The Motorola Milestone!
So what if Rachael became the X3 and then the X10, or that the Idou inexplicably changed to being the equally ridiculous Satio?  Neither of these are crimes against a nation, whereas renaming the awesome Droid as the dreary Milestone should be regarded as one.

Best New Mobile Related Product or Service 2009.

Nominees:  The universal charger, Google Maps Navigation and inductive charging.
The Winner:  The universal charger!
Much as we like the idea of inductive charging and however much we desire Google’s free turn-by-turn navigation software, we can’t ignore just how brilliant for everyone the idea of a single charger is!

The ‘Mobile Phones? We HATE them!’ Award 2009.

Nominees:  France, actor Vince Vaughn and The Court Inn, Durham.
The Winner:  The Court Inn, Durham!
The French Government not only banned the advertising of mobile phones to children, but the presence of phones in primary schools entirely, while actor Vince Vaughn still doesn’t own a handset and says they drive him ‘crazy’.  But it’s the Court Inn who gets the award for banning their use inside the pub.  The landlord says the plan is a success and that the pub has a ‘friendlier atmosphere’ than others nearby.